Hello, I am Gaius. I am a foul-mouthed fucknut with a love for all animals and a couple of humans. Half the time, hang on - most of the time - I post here I will be fucking trashed on red wine and spliffs. I'm just making things clear, you understand. I've a great interest in international politics, history and current affairs (like the current cabals of cunts that run the UK's and USA's corporate robber baron fuckwit 'governments'). I am a borderline wackjob as a result of the foreign policy of the West since 2000, stimulated by that slimy little spiteful simian gwb getting 'elected'. Can't bring myself to capitalize his name anymore.
Anyway you cocksuckers you've probably gathered that they'll be a certain amount of bile here, but also I hope a few chuckles. For me, I mean. It's a great crack to get up in the morning, forget what you wrote on your blog because you were arseholed, then refresh the memory by reading whatever inane shite I managed to squintily type. Is 'squintily' even a word? It is now you cunts!
(I pause here because I am fucking sober, which as we all know is a total waste of time. Hang on a sec while I pour myself a glass of the creature) ..............Ah fuck! the sweetspot! There's a southeastern Australian company called Hardy's that knock out a lovely Shiraz by the way. I'm sure they'll appreciate a namecheck in this odious, amoral and obscene creation. I was going to add 'Not' at the end there but I hate cunts who do that. I'm quite capable of spotting irony without some fucktard shouting 'NOT!' in my face. Christ.
Just as a heads-up, here's what I'll be contemplating:
Both of my thumbs. Oh yes. Both of them.
The money trail and 9/11.
Prescott Bush (gwb's grandfather) and the Bush's funding and business dealings with the Nazi regime.
The massive fiction that is 'The War on Terror'. You fucking what?
The illegal Federal Reserve. The Bank of England.
The wholesale ownership by the CIA of the MSM in America.
The false flag operations of the UK/USA goverments, Operation Northwoods, Gulf of Tonkin, Pearl Harbour, 9/11.
My long, clean cock.
Our dehumanised and atomized lives in modern globalised times. Fucking shithouse, what?
Bear in mind that the above solemnities will be more often than not interspersed with completely random posts about life in general. I had a blog a long time ago and people seemed to find it funny. I just put that qualification in there to assure you that if you don't find this amusing than you are obviously some sort of humourless dullard who possesses a modicum of intellectual decorum. And therefore is in entirely the wrong place. Hey, Humourless. You can take that decorum and stick it up your arse, and you can fuck off while you're about it.
God, it's happening again. It's OK. You'll get used to it.
So scientists recently told us there's a vacuum 250,000 light years across in a part of the universe. 250,000 light years? Try and get your fucking head round that pal. Christ I need a spliff.
Laters.
10 comments:
Welcome back! You've been missed...after that last post over at the OTHER blog, we thought you'd gone renegade and would soon start sending out letter bombs, Ted Kozinski style.
Happy to see you've chosen the more civilized catharsis of blogging again.
Let it out, baby. Let it allllll out.
Hopefully more 'obscenely profane and dirty catharsis' actually. And as I kick you under the table very forcefully on the shin (making me spill a substantial drop of my red, for which you will be punished at a later moment) I insist you are mistaken and that the OTHER blog was an ejaculation of our old (and entirely fictitious) friend Xavier from, erm, Kentucky? And nothing more was said. By anyone. Ever again.
I refuse to get all teary at your return. All I will say is... it's god to have you back, you fucking cunt.
Fer fuck's sake.... I meant "good", obviously. I had no intention of implying that you possess any divinity.
Well then, I figuratively rub my shin and counter by calling you a cunt.
there's a vacuum 250,000 light years across in a part of the universe.
Probably in a cramped broom cupboard 500,000 light years high, along with a three-legged desk, a set of deckchair frames with no covers, a collection of whale songs on vinyl, and some eyeless once-were-cuddly toys extruding their celestial entrails across the carpet.
And whatever make of vacuum it is, the plug will require the wrong sort of fuse.
Xavier from, erm, Kentucky
Are you sure you need a spliff?
Word Verification: ntrroi, the sound of a Guatamalan Emperor Sloth clearing its orifices.
I hate you already. But in a good way.
Good for me, anyway.
A-girl you are correct! I will leave it at that because of course later on in the evening you will very kindly hold my hand for a minute or two.
Binty I find it fascinating to know that you are a professionally trained actor. Fair play.
Philip you are fucking funny blighter and no mistake. I've got no clue how old you are though. At 38 I've had a wicked life, and am quite prepared for the adventures of early senility, the early posits of which the two of us seem to epitomise. Another modern condition? Permanently hat-stand?
Gimme why would you hate me bro? If I lay naked on my back and you brush something (like your finger or tongue maybe, or maybe a feather, a feather from an extinct bird maybe)across my large nutsack you will witness them rolling and coyly surging in anticipation.
Jesus Christ I crack myself up sometimes.
You find that fascinating..? Check out the latest revelations on my blog. They directly relate to you, actually.......
Welcome back, but isn't 'Gaius' a little, well, gay?
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